Developing Today’s Kids Into Leaders

Hi everyone! The garden is producing and looking beautiful, the sun is shining, and anticipation is in the air as we get closer to school starting!

My husband, Doug, and I are raising 3 of our grandkids. Their ages are 15, 9, and 6 and although their living with us was very unexpected, we chose to receive it as a blessing and not a burden!

As our kids are preparing to go back to school and start mingling on a consistent basis with their peers, I would like to help you prepare them.  As a counselor, I work with kids that are leaders and kids that have behavior problems. 

I believe all kids can be leaders.  Finding a way to connect with our kids is key.  Teachers today are teaching classrooms of 20-35 students.  To individually teach their students would be virtually impossible!  This is where us parents and grandparents play a key role. 

If  we are connecting with our kids at home, it helps them at school to focus more and feel they “fit in.”

Here are some key points that I hope will help you develop your kids into leaders.

1. Thought process – What are your thoughts about your kids?  When our kids are “acting up” it gets frustrating and we begin to think of them as “brats” or other negative thoughts.  Parents may think having these thoughts are ok, and it is if you are looking for “average” kids.  If you want your kids to be leaders who are loved and respected among their peers, changing how you “think” about them, is where you start to develop them into leaders.  Start to see your kids as leaders, well-behaved, and problem solvers.  Your perception of how you see them doesn’t come from how they are actually behaving!  You begin to think and see what you want from your child.  We tend to spend more time thinking and seeing our child according to how they are acting and behaving.  Try this, believe me it works!
2. Our words – What we say has a huge impact on our kids.  Our words build them up or tear them down.  Up until a child is 12 their brain is still developing.  As adults we have a conscious and sub-conscious mind.  Our conscious mind accepts or rejects words and ideas that are spoken to us.  Once we accept what is spoken to us it then resides in our sub-conscious mind.  Our behaviors and beliefs come from our sub-conscious mind.  Children, before the age of 12, can only accept words and ideas that are spoken to them.  Their brain has not completely developed the conscious mind yet.  Therefore, whatever we say to them they believe and accept!  Speak life, encouragement, confidence, and respect to them and you will be amazed when their behavior and how they feel about themselves begins to change!
3. Feelings – Everyone feels love differently!  We all have different love languages.  For kids, when their love tank is empty they may act out.  Find what your childs love language is.  A good way to know this is the book, “The Five Love Languages of Children”, by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell, M.D.  Learn what fills their love tank and you will see a huge change in behavior!
4. Electronics – Last but not least!  In today’s world the ipad and tablet is an amazing tool to keep our kids occupied.  Believe me it is only a temporary fix!  They can become “addicted” to this technology and when they can’t play on their tablet or it is taken away, they become very angry and aggressive.  If you are having this problem with your child, then there is definitely cause for concern.  You will want to give them less and less time on their electronics to help with this.  I know it won’t be easy, but it is extremely important for your child’s development, mentally and physically.  My friend Lee Binz wrote a book on this called, “TechnoLogic:  How to Set Logical Technology Boundaries and Stop the Zombie Apocalypse”.  This book can really help in this area if your kids are struggling.

I hope this helps to have a happy healthy 2018/2019 school year.  I welcome your comments and suggestions.

In His Love, Sandee