3 Steps To Letting Go

Why is letting something or someone go so hard for us? Even after the thing or person is gone we still hold on!! I have asked myself this question in different circumstances and relationships.

Why do we hang on to what hurts us or is toxic for us?

Most of the time it's because it's familiar or we just simply do not know any other way.

Think of a rubberband, imagine stretching it as far as you can, then let go!!! Sometimes I think that is why we don’t let go because it might come back and slap us!! But what if we let it go and it soars!! You will never know until you decide to “let it go”!

3 Steps To Letting Go:

1. Evaluate and recognize what it is you need to let go of.
   
   What is in your life that has been nagging at you to let go of it?  Maybe you already know, maybe you don’t know what it is you should let go of.  I challenge you to evaluate you, be aware of your daily life. 
   
   What is in your life that causes you discomfort, pain, sadness, or just doesn’t serve you?  The first step is to honestly evaluate your life.  Is there something or someone that you are holding on to that doesn’t bring you peace and joy? 
   
   You are the most important person in your life.  Toxicity and pain and discomfort doesn’t belong to you!  Give yourself a gift and let it go!
   
   At the end of each day look back on the days events.  How did you respond?  What were your thoughts in the moment? 
   
   What words did you speak in the good and bad parts of your day?  Evaluating yourself in this way will help you be intentional on how you move through your day.  Doing this will bring an awareness of what you need to let go of.  Maybe you always say yes to your friends and family and then later you say to yourself, “why did I say yes, I already have a lot to do”.  When you are asked something stop and respond with,  “Let me get back to you”.  Then you can step away and ask yourself if this is really something you want or can do. 
   
   Create the habit of not responding immediately.  This will also give you the courage to say no when you get back to them.  Live in the moment and be intentional with your daily decisions.  Not only will you have no regrets this will also help you to let go of things in your day that doesn’t serve you and your family.  Also you will gain your power back which will give you the confidence to let go of what is depressing, hurtful, causing anxiety, and stressing you.
   
   When I was 16 years old and learning to drive a stick shift, I remember watching my older sister and she could put the clutch in, shift, turn on the radio, and talk all at the same time lol.  I thought that was amazing because I had to think of each move I made.  Once I learned how and was use to it I did each move automatically without even thinking!  That is sometimes how we live our day in “auto pilot”. 
   
   How we speak, think, and respond when we are hurt, sad, angry, or even happy is done in auto pilot!   As you evaluate and recognize this you will become more intentional and begin to realize what you need to let go of.  You are one step closer to getting your power back and living your day intentional.  You are on your way to living your best self.  Let’s look at step 2.
   
   
2. What ties you to it?
   
   What keeps you “connected” to that thing/person you should let go of? If it is someone toxic in your life it may be feelings that keep you connected.  Do you feel angry, sad, crazy, or frustrated over something they did or said?  Feel the feelings, that is valued, and then let them go! 
   
   Sometimes we hang on tighter to the “way they make us feel” instead of the person themselves.  Ex. if a loved one hurts you, you may feel angry and because you always (auto pilot) feel angry when your hurt, you do not know how to feel any other way.  You can stop auto pilot and make a choice of how you are going to respond to the hurt. 
   
   Sometimes its as simple as saying to yourself, “I choose not to be angry”, ” I choose not to be depressed”.  Make a different decision and push through it to be able to let go. 
   
   We hang on to what hurts us because we respond the same way we always have and we keep getting the same result!  This makes us feel defeated! 
   
   Don’t give your power up so easy.  Look at what ties you to the very thing you want to let go of.  Do not insist on holding on to it.  We do, because its familiar and the feelings we have are a habit we have formed in how we respond when we are hurt.
   
   Be intentional, be inspired, be encouraged to make a different choice in how you respond to the toxicity!  This will help move you in a different direction, even eventually it will change how you feel.  Being aware of what ties you to it will give you the power to free yourself from it.
   
   
3. What would life look like if you let it go?
   
   Image, dream, meditate on what life would look like without the very thing you need to let go of.  Close your eyes and try to picture your life with out it.  Would you have more peace, more freedom, less depression, less anxiety, less anger, and maybe less fear? 
   
   Know that you are worth it, your family is worth it, stop holding on to the feelings or things in your life that does not serve you!   Give yourself the space you need in life for what matters.

Remember things will get better when there is a change, and You Are That Change!

In His Love,

Sandee